you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize