matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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