I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My liver just had a heart attack.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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