I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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