One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
