I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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