i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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