This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
