Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
