i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
