i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
