Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
