3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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