If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It's just like the Real World with babies
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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