You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
