Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
P.S. I can't hear my feet
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
