put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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