Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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