Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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