Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
