Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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