my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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