Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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