Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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