direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My balls are so social today.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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