i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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