the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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