hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
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Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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