I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
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are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
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Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now