My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?