i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
