You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize