I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
