yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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