I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
