That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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