Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
