Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
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