We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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