Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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