she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
