somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize