i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
