didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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