So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
