I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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