Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I am mentally ready for anal.
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