Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
