would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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