Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
