haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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