end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
