there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
