I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
