i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
