My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
