Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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