She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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