how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
