You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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