those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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