Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my being single is dangerous.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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